the thoughts of life

man i havent been on here in almost a year. i forgot that this was here and lately i havent had enough time to even do anything. lets just have a recap of what has happened over the past year. i was in the hospital 4 times, my brother moved out twice i know that i am crazy i have a condition that i will have for the rest of my life i have found out who my true friends are and also found out who the fakes are. io have been accepted to college and accelled in different things i still dont know if i am loosing one thing very important to me my grandma isnt doing too well school is school its my last year here and i like it and also hate it i have no clue what to do with almost everything in my life and it is getting hard to be so strong for so many people. i feel like there are so many people counting on me and looking at me expecting me to be the crazy hyper fun person that they think i am and i dont know if that is really who i am or not it is hard to tell most of the time i worry about everything and anything and i dont know why that is most of the time i am so frustrated with everything most of the time i want to scream and run away but i have nowhere to go so for now im stuck right where im at